The fact that Dublin has been flooded with five thousand lawyers attending the IBA annual conference has not escaped the notice of our taxi drivers. To a man they are, or believe themselves to be, the soul of wit (though not always with the proverbial brevity).

On the journey into town from the airport, the driver declared that in his opinion there were two types of lawyers. Good lawyers and great lawyers. (Stop me if you’ve heard this one, mate.) The good lawyer is one who knows the law. The great lawyer (pause for effect) is the one who knows the judge!

In the law, an old chestnut like that is known as a precedent. Modern humorists don’t necessary feel the need to follow such precedents, and the more distinguished they are, the less they are applied.

You’ll have noticed that big steel spike in O’Connell Street, another cabbie began. It’s official name is the Spire. But, y’know, we Irish like to give things a humorous name like. So this one is called the Stiletto in the Ghetto.

There was a clock down by the river, in 1999, counting down the days, hours and seconds till the Millennium. What did they call that now? The Time in the Slime.

And finally… This one is Molly Malone, the subject of a popular song about a fishmonger, immortalised in a bronze statue unveiled during the 1988 Dublin Millennium celebrations. Guess what the larky locals call her? The Tart with the Cart.

We cannot leave the subject of witty taxi drivers without mentioning their engaging hospitality in showing us, without even being asked, so many of the sights of Dublin. Every journey seems to follow a different route, some of them unbelievably tortuous, and often involving more than one circuit of St Stephen’s Green. Curiously enough, though, the fare always comes to the same amount. No doubt there is an old local saying, “There’s more than one way to get from where ye are to where ye wanna be…” or words to that effect.

Tis very true, man, very true.

What’s even more true is that the ICLR are offering all delegates at the IBA annual conference in Dublin a 20 per cent discount on all sales of hard copy and online subscriptions. 

Don’t delay now. Sign up today!