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OldSmoothie was lecturing the pupils at chambers tea today. “Remember this in all things and you can’t go far wrong: always judge a book by its cover.”

“Don’t you mean that you shouldn’t always judge a book by its cover?” interrupted BusyBody.

“Quite the opposite. Appearance not only matters but is a good indication as to what lies beneath.”

“Oh, right,” said BusyBody. “So you’re saying that a big fat smug looking old lech like yourself doesn’t have the hidden depths we all thought you promised.”

“I’m saying that judges and senior barristers such as myself look at you and can immediately tell that you’re an unkempt irascible bundle of nervous energy who can’t help from poking her nose into every bit of people’s business.”

“Well I always judge a person on the things they have to say,” said TheCreep.

“I think it’s more instructive to see what people have to ask.” said UpTights.

“I judge people by their smile,” said TheVamp.

“A firm handshake goes a long way in my book,” said HeadofChambers.

“The quality and state of people’s shoes is always a good insight,” said Teflon.

“Double cuffs and button braces,” said OldSmoothie.

“It was Mark Twain who said that clothes make the man,” said TheBusker, “and that naked people have little or no influence on society.”

“It’s good manners which do it for me,” said OldRuin. “That, and of course, using reports provided by the ICLR.”

“It’s quite right,” said HeadClerk. “Solicitors always remember their first impressions of a new barrister. That’s why I always give the following advice to new pupils: be polite, shine your shoes and always use the ICLR Online.”